08 Oct Why do we act like we will live forever?

By Rhonda Massad

Today I will pay my respects to an old friend who died suddenly last Thursday. Barry Kyle. His sister Kim was my bestie growing up. We shared all the healthy things children get to share like ice cream, long lazy summer days, giggling and bike rides. Those days are supposed to last forever.

Our paths separated, without much formality, when we went to different high schools and bikes changed to cars. But I know what we shared was special to us both.

Thanks to Facebook, Kim was one of the first people that I reconnected with when I figured out how to use it. Like many moms of teenagers at the time, I opened an account, so that I could spy on my children in the new world of internet. The side benefit was being able to chat with people from my past who were also finding their way on the World Wide Web.

It was fun to find Kim again and see what she was up to and chat with her periodically. She loves dogs and nature. Some things never change. Barry and I were also friends on Facebook, and we watched each other’s families grow up milestone by milestone. I like Facebook because we get to keep in touch with people who would have been lost to us in a different era. It is strange to visit his page now because he is no longer there to check it.

Kim sent me a private message last week, the day after Barry died suddenly. He was too young at the tender age of 53. I was stunned as we are when someone dies so young without warning. My immediate thoughts went to, “wait a second; this can’t be right.” I had things to say at the pending coffee date we had planned when we bumped into each other at the bank a few years ago. I felt myself wanting to message Barry over the past several days. Just to connect one last time. Suddenly everything was final, and our choices were taken away from us.

People don’t get to live forever, but we walk around as we do. We know better, but there is a built in human quality that allows us to forget we are on borrowed time. I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Would every day be very intense if we awaited death? Would we be anxious or would we be kinder more forgiving much the way we are when someone close to us has passed?

I like to think we learn to cherish life just a little more when we lose someone who held a special place in our hearts. A way of paying homage to the soul that has moved on.

Take a moment today and remember someone special to you. Honor them by being extra kind to your kids, a neighbor or even a stranger. It will help keep that light glowing just a little while longer.

Rest in peace Barry, until we meet again.

XOXO